Just kidding, I still think it's awesome. That being said, the commercial was incredibly redundant. Did you know Colin Cowherd thinks that this trade makes the AFC East the best division in football and that the Bengals are historically "run poorly?" If the answer is no, then you didn't listen to the draft. Irritating commercials aside, the chaos that was the first round was incredibly fun, with many raids and surprises along the way.
What's that I hear? You want a report card and my opinions on each teams draft? Okay, I guess I'll have to oblige. We'll start with the most imortant team and work our way through the rest of the league.
Oh, and no A+'s, not because no one deserves one, but because it's a stupid fictional grade that no student can acheive on an actual grade card.
C- The Dolphins really pissed me off with this one. I understand trading down because Dan Williams, the player they most wanted, would be avaliable well after pick 12 but I think swapping all the way down to 28 was going a little far. It turns out I was right as the Cardinals took him right ahead of us and instead of taking one of the many great safeties we could desperately use, we just went with a mediocre defensive tackle in Jared Oderick. I could live with this but the second round pick was inexcusable, with Sergio Kindle (who many thought Miami might take at 12) still on the board along with Taylor Mays, we went with some guy I've never heard of out of Utah. I've never heard of anyone else they took. I initially would have rated an F for this draft but after reading some reviews for bigger experts than I, it sounds like some of these nobodies are pretty decent. That being said they passed on a lot of useful talent and I am not pleased with the Parcells regime.
A The Patriots played this draft brilliantly, which is unfortunate as always. After making a bit of a strange pick in the first round in Rutgers CB Devin McCourtny, the Patriots made moves to grab some great values in the second round. Nabbing the years second best tight end in Rob Gronkowski, as well as Florida standout Brandon Spikes. In round four they picked up the third best tight end in the draft in Aaron Hernandez and by the time it was over they drafted more players than they can possibly make room for on the roster. Well played Bill, well played, I thought the Marshall trade made Miami better than New England but it was short lived as I believe the Pats are better again after this draft.
D The Jets went and proved to the world what their strong suit is this weekend: free agency. The Jets, notorious for lousy drafts and building their team through agressive trades and free agency, showed that no matter how good the talent avaliable, the Jets can always find someone else. Kyle Wilson was a great pick-up talentwise, especially at their late spot, but cornerback is a position that they had absolutely no need for. Offensive lineman Vladimir Ducasse is a solid talent, but the Jets don't want too much of that, so with a rookie in place, they plan to cut six time pro bowler Alan Faneca to make room for him, a move that will cost the team over $5 million. How do Jets fans live with this franchise? Thanks for making sure I never cheer Kyle Wilson again, dicks.
F This draft sucked for Buffalo, plain and simple. C.J. Spiller is an outstanding talent and will be a great NFL player, but again, how much credit can you give a team for drafting a great player they don't need. The Bills have two 1,000 yard backs on the roster already in Fred Jackson and Marshawn Lynch. The Bills entered this draft with needs at virtually every position on offense except RB, specifically QB and OL. Despite the needs the Bills took two defenseive players, a wide reciever, and Spiller first, grabbing a OL and a QB in the fifth and seventh rounds. This team needs porbably three new linemen to compete in the east, and took just one subpar player in a draft full of talented guards. The fall doesn't look to be getting any shorter for Canada's favorite football team.
A The Ravens, who entered this draft with only a few picks, played the weekend trade game to perfection. The Patriots traded up to take their tight end right in front of them, so Baltimore then traded their pick to Denver for three picks. They did not pick until round two and ended up with two first round talents in Sergio Kindle and Terrence Cody, who should step into the starting lineup for an aging degense immediately. They also added a fantastic tight end in the third round in Oregon's Ed Dickson. Paired along with the Boldin trade last month, the Ravens have to be favorite in the North after this offseason.
B- The Steelers played it very safe in this draft. No panicking, no trading. In the first round they watched the OL they were said to be eyeing go ahead of them and then passed on many defensive needs to pick a talented center in Maurkice Pouncey. They got a bargain with Thaddeus Gibson in round four, and again with RB Jonathan Dwyer in round six. However, they waited to draft a defensive secondary until round five (their biggest need), and didn't take a DE until the final round. Also no QB's and they are supposedly looking to trade Big Ben. Great talent, a few bargains, but they ignored their needs a little.
A- The Bengals did something very uncharacteristic for their franchise: they drafted well. Jermaine Gresham in the first round was a great pick up at a need position. Jordan Shipley in round three was a steal and between those two picks and the signing of Antonio Bryant, last years WR woes should be a distant memory in 2010. They also great value across the defensive line in Carlos Dunlap and Geno Atkins. However, the biggest plus in this draft is that they did not take anybody with character issues, a constant struggle in this franchise. I guess they figured the people they have can fill their season's arrest quota without any new help.
C This years draft will do nothing to keep the shit from raining down. The Browns took good, albeit suspect, talent in each of the first two rounds, and with arguably the league's worst offense last season they focused on the defensive secondary with their first two picks. Joe Haden is a good talent, but was overdrafted at pick seven, and T.J. Ward in the second is a very risky pick. They made a few good moves in the later rounds, specifically drafting Colt McCoy in the third round, but I think many have to be disappointed with Holmgren's first year manning the Cleveland draft...... if Browns fans even stop to notice new failures any more.
B The Titans did a lot without making any big moves. They found a great deal at a need position in the drafts best DE in Derrick Morgan and FINNNNALLLLLYYYYY adressed the WR need that has plagued Vince Young and Kerry Collins over the past three years by taking Damian Williams in round three (another steal). The rest of the draft was solid if unspectacular.
D+ The Texans did not make any outright terrible picks in this years draft, but with nine picks and a selection in every round, they could have done much better. They passed on Kyle Wilson, great talent at their biggest need position, to take CB Kareem Jackson. Jackson is a great player but is a notch below Wilson and the pick showed their inability to trade down as he was second round talent. The rest of the draft is just kind of there. Their second round selection of Aubrun RB Ben Tate was also suspect with Gerhart still on the board. A boring draft like this will not catch the Colts.
B- Classy tatoo guy, I'm sure Johnny U. would love it. The Colts didn't do a whole lot, but as the reigning AFC champions, they didn't need to. A B- is a pretty good grade considering how late all their picks came. They had a steal late in the first round with Jerry Hughes at 31 and picked up an underrated LB in Iowa's Patrick Angerer in the second round. Pretty bland after that but they grabbed what they could.
F Oh boy, where do I even start on this abortion of a draft. Matt Millen is laughing at their picks. They did nothing right, from drafting a mid-second round talent at 10 to taking only one offensive player. The Jags had no second round picks, so with the selection of Alualu, they waited 64 picks before taking.... another DT? The Jaguars have major concerns at OL, QB, and WR on offense but opted to use their only pick of an offensive player on a RB, because apparently Jones-Drew is their weakness? DE has been chatted as the worst position for this team. They didn't take one.
B- The Chargers, much like the Colts, had a solid but unspectacular draft. Also like the Colts, they are loaded with talent already and didn't need a great draft. A move up for Ryan Matthews in round one assured they would get the RB they wanted and stood still at their later picks to fill in some holes on defense. Ryan Matthews was a reach at 13, but they had to have him, so it works.
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A- Yes, I did just give that grade to this team. I think ancient Al must have let someone else steer the draft bus this year because you could have sworn this draft was run by professional that understand that skill is not limited to just speed. McClain was great pick for them at 8 and Lamaar Hunt in round 2 was as well. They picked up a few OL's and a WR to adress needs on offense and did not reach on any of the picks, which is the best possible sign for a Raiders fan. My only gripe is that they didn't pick up a QB. We all know Russell isn't going to work but this complaint was neautralized on Sunday with a trade for Washington backup Jason Campbell, a solid fill-in until next years draft.
B Don't freak out on me Tebow haters but this really wasn't the worst move in the world. Did they trade too much to get him? Absolutely. Does drafting him make sense? Absolutely. Denver has two QB's competing for the starting job right now: Brady Quinn and Kyle Orton. Tell me which one of those players you see starting for them three years from now. Neither? That's what I thought. Tebow may or may not work out as an NFL quarterback but the last decade has shown us that the best QB's in the NFL are workhorses. The lazy players, no matter how talented and ready at the position they are when they enter the league, do not last without work ethic; JaMarcus Russell, Ryan Leaf, Joey Harrington, Akili Smith, and Tarvaris Jackson to name a few. Tebow will work very hard to become useful, and that could very well happen at QB. His throwing motion has improved dramatically just since the end of the college season and don't forget who mentored coach Josh McDaniels, a certain Patriots coach who everyone seemed to love the idea of seeing draft Tebow. Aditionally, McDaniels has said that using Tebow in the wildcat is likely to happen at some point; say what you want about him throwing the ball, but you know that will work. Miami proved last year that you can succeed with this offense in the NFL and no one is more qualified to run it than Timmy. On a side note, the rest of the draft was pretty good too, grabbing a much needed WR and some defensive secondary players.
D+ Another rough year for Chiefs fans, as this team continues to draft to be the Detroit Lions of the coming decade. Don't get me wrong, Eric Berry is a great player, and will be a pro bowler at some point for this team, but they had much bigger needs than Safety. I think the corpse of Reggie White could still bullrush through this line for a few sacks a game and they left the drafts best offensive tackle on the board in round one. They waited until round three to pick one up and didn't adress the issue again. They never took a much needed nose tackle and waited until the last round to adress the big need for a LB. They also had only six picks, not good coming off a 4-12 season. The more I think about it, you can go ahead and take the plus off of their grade.
C- I'm not so nuts on the Dez Bryant pick as some people, based on the picture to the left there, Dallas has consistantly proved to be a bad fit for troubled players. Dez Bryant is a troubled player, who has a lot of talent, but will also now have the spotlight on him all year long. Miles Austin stepped up big last year at WR and I really don't think they needed Dez anyway. The rest of the draft was pretty forgetable and they never took a replacement for OL Flozell Adams who is not expected to be there by this fall.
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B- The Eagles took a lot of good, but not great, defensive players in this draft. The players are not bad picks at all, although I think they reached a bit for Brandon Graham, but it was how they picked them that I don't like. Nate Allen, decent player, but they traded Donovan McNabb for that pick. There is no way he'll be that good. With thirteen picks, though, it's hard to say they didn't do anything right; some of them will undoubtedly contribute. A lot of depth here, but no picks that really make you stop and say "nice pick."
C The Giants did not do much to address their needs on an aging defense. They used there first round pick on DE Jason Pierre-Paul, an athletic freak that critics agree has played too little football to not be a big risk. They found some good picks late, but no one that stood out as great. The secondary that was so bad late last season recieved little help, and so did the aging OL. I think they drafted the good players, but they drafted them all at the wrong time and didn't get much value for their picks.
D More of the same from Snyder's organization, ignoring their needs for a young RB and some help on the DL for more WR's and OL's. They needed help on the OL as well so that was a first rounder well spent but Russell Okung was the best linemen in the draft and passing on him for Trent Williams was a mistake. Also, how many mid-round recievers does this team have to bring in before they just stop wasting picks? Just live with Santana Moss until you're ready to take a major talent. This entire divison's draft sucked.
B- The norsemen failed to take a QB of any significance in this draft, which is why I am grading them so low. Whether the dark lord returns next season or not, they can not count on him long term and they never would have to recruit him if they had in faith in his backups. They passed on Jimmy Clausen twice and Colt McCoy three times, hell even Tony Pike was there until round six. They went with UAB QB Joe Webb instead. Ummm, enjoy the practice squad. The pick of Toby Gerhart was also a head scratcher: I know they lost Chester Taylor this season, but do they really need to prioritize Adrian Peterson's backup so high?
B+ The kittycats actually did pretty good for themselves this year, impressive considering how few picks they ended up with. Suh was a no-brainer at number two, and moving up for Jahvid Best late in round one also filled a big need for them as Kevin Smith appears to be out for the forseeable future. Iowa CB Speivey is an outstanding talent and great value in the third round. Miami OT Jason Fox is a great pickup in the fourth as well. All the picks were good and adressed both sides of the ball. The small number of picks is the only thing that keeps the grade from being an A.
A- Sometimes you don't have to do a lot for a great draft. Green Bay just got lucky in having Bryan Bulaga fall into their laps at #23. Bulaga, who has top ten talent, should help a o-line that has stunk worse than Woodstock over the last two years. They kept it simple in Green Bay fashion and picked up one more guard and a lot of defensie help. The Packers don't make big moves, but they got lucky enough to get great value anyways.
D- The Bears didn't necessarily do anything terribly wrong in this draft, but they didn't pick until the third round because of everything they gave up with the Cutler trade last year. Their first pick was great with Florida CB Major Wright, the rest pretty forgettable. One thing that really puzzled me though was the draft of Central Michigan QB Dan LeFevour. You traded most of your draft for a QB, and with one of your five picks you take a QB? That was just plain stupid.
A The Panthers received an unexpected gift from the catholic church on Friday afternoon, a surprise tumble to the mid-second round for Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen. Carolina needed a QB badly and without a first round pick it looked like that QB would be incumbent Matt Moore. The Panthers got lucky and Clausen should step up to compete for the starting job right away. OL Eric Norwood, DE Greg Hardy and WR Brandon LaFell were also great value picks. I also loved the late pick of Cincinatti QB Tony Pike. Clausen is an arrogant prick, we all know that, and drafting another talented rookie with a late pick is a great way to ensure he works hard and earning his spot. The Panthers drafted as well as any other team in the draft this year, and they didn't start until the second round.
B- I'm really not going to waste much time here, because when you're the defending Super Bowl champions, no one gives a shit about your draft. They got some good picks, but when you pick last, there isn't a lot to get excited about.
A You know, the bad teams really did pretty good for themselves this year. Gerald McCoy at number 3 was easy and his presence will be felt on the Bucs' line immediately. DT Prian Price should also start immediately and between the two that run defense could jump from 32nd to early 20's in one year. The Bucs took exactly what their biggest needs were all draft long and got great players in their secondary, on the defensive line, and WR Arellius Benn should be the number one WR right away. By next season, they may actually earn the pirate logo back in my column, but until then enjoy the vintage sailor of the open sea.
D+ Honestly I've only heard of one person they took in this whole draft, and he was not a very exciting player in my mind. I won't try to justify my ranking, if you think it was good, you might be right. I'm going to assume they are nobodies.
A The 49ers played this draft absolutely brilliantly. They decided they needed players on the OL and they went and got them, trading up twice to grab two great linemen in round one. Then they got a bargain in USC Safety Taylor Mays. They spent the rest of the draft filling gaps at their skill positions on offense, grabbing WR's, a TE, and a backup for Frank Gore. The defense was already pretty good and Mays should improve it. The offense built itself like they were ready for a playoff run, and they should be heavy favorites in the NFC West this season.
B The Cardinals grabbed a big steal at 26 in Dan Williams, one of the best DT's in the draft this year. Linebacker Daryll Washington out of TCU is a great fit for them as well and should play immediately, filling in for Karlos Dansby (ALSO A DOLPHIN!!!) who left in free agency. The one big complaint is no OL's in a draft that had plenty of talent to spare on the line. The Cardinals lost a lot this year, and while this draft helps, fans should expect a drop off from their division champion status. This draft though brought in a lot of potential on defense.
B- I actually was not too big on the Rams draft this year, but I do not blame them for it. They drafted what they needed in each round, unfortunately, almost every round they watched the best players at those positions get drafted just ahead of them. QB Sam Bradford is a big risk and one I am not completely sold on. Number 1 overall QBs have a pretty high fail rate in the NFL and Bradford will be tested immediately with no real talent to compete against him for the starting job and an o-line that does appear ready to protect him. Decent talent, but they could have done better.
A The Seahawks had probably the best draft of the year. I realize that a lot of people wanted a QB, but they would not have won any games without Hasselbeck so they made a wise choice in building the rest of roster first and waiting another year for a youngster to take the snaps. Russell Okung, the best offensive lineman in the draft, fell to them at 5, and then the second best safety fell to them at 14 in Earl Thomas. In the second round they grabbed a steal in Notre Dame WR Golden Tate, then took some badly needed defensive players most of the rest of the way. The trade for Lendale White was great as well as the Hawks desperately need some new talent in the backfield and we all know that Pete Caroll can motivate White. If the Seahawks are lucky, their new talent will take a year to get good and they finish 1-15, then they can grab Jake Locker next year and will be set for a long time to come.
So thats it for today, nerds I promised you something good next time, so here is the big reveal: Top 10 Marvel Superheroes that would make great professional athletes. Nerdy enough for you? See you this weekend, until then remember.......
Hot chicks like guys who love Dolphins.......
And we still have this guy.
Suck it Denver.
Sorry Tyler, some people like sports.
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